Thursday, December 06, 2012

Supermom dismantled

I have long been interested in what it takes to be society's supermom. And I fight against the buy-in and see women around me feeling the pressure of the same. It's not the magazines and social networking that present the ideas and the ads that are to blame, but our acceptance and insecurity that all areas are equally important to excel in and all things to be juggled. Which makes sense because we know how imporant parenting is and we want to do it right. But what if we are not focusing on the right things?
I am convinced that the measure of our supermotherhood should be our niceness. Not the lay down and let the family walk all over you nice, but the golden rule kind: Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do To You. You know, the kind of niceties we easily extend to our co-workers, committee members, and fellow playgroup mothers without a thought, but are somehow more challenging to extend to our families.
 In the vein of The Love Chapter,  (which says  "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. ")
Even if we actually do all the crafts we pin to pinterest,
And manage to juggle extra projects at work without dropping a playdate.
Though we have the seasonally prettiest houses on the block,
And stick to our weight watchers points,
while pulling off amazing themed birthday parties,
Though we record every recital and sporting event in scrapbook layouts,
and help in the classroom,
and bake goodies for after school snacks,
and keep spotless houses.
Even if we get up early and stay up late to make sure no balls are dropped,
and though we read the newest tomes on parenting,
stay on top of laundry,
put a family dinner on the table every night,
serving only locally grown organic fare.
Eschew plastic toys, making handmade things ourselves instead.
Though we stick to our budgets,
cut coupons,
and wrap all the presents by December 1st.
Even if others are impressed by our efforts to keep it all together,
but we cannot keep the snap out of our voices when the kids derail our plans,
and fail to have time to talk with them about life's most important themes,
we have surely missed the point.

( just visualize a 15 year old covered by his often voiced publication ban of his likeness lurking in the background)
 a writer who likes to keep it old school
 i am not the only one stockpiling goodies
Contributing sources:

1 Corinthians 13
"Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety" - Judith Warner
"Grace-based Parenting" - Tim Kimmel
the Dec 2 golden rule message
one of my favorite movies - "I don't know how she does it" starring SJP
a conversation with my friend allison on our best attempts to get things right

1 comment :

love to hear from you :)